The natural human ability to be able to emphasise is overestimated. I realised this today. The expectation of ones ability to 'know how you feel' is greatly limited by selfish reason.

Those words 'I know how you feel' are a lie simply because, until that person has been in your shoes and experienced what you have gone through/are going through, there is and always will be an innate inability to empathise irregardless of good will and intention.

In some instances, a maintained level of superficial sentiment is all well and good if, for example it is a relationship based on artificial pleasantries.

However when someone who is meant to care about you, sells this pretence of fake empathy, it hurts. Someone who cares would do what they can to help you right?

That may hold true, unless there is a conflict of interest.

With that being the case, the true feelings of that individual will manifest and what that person cares about the most will be favoured. If it's you then awesome but if not, well, it is what it is.

I made the stupid mistake of thinking someone cared about me and prioritised my feelings more than I did for myself.


The realisation that people are selfish is no surprise. People are selfish. No one is selfless. People will always, inevitably put themselves first. No matter how much they say they "love you", no matter how much they say "I care" no matter what sweet nothings and 'genuine' words come out of their mouth, they will always be loyal to what it is they hold dearest.

This is nothing new and I'm not that mad, it is human nature. I'm glad I know now.

I learned this the hard way, by placing my hope into false aspirations. Everyone can be naive at times and I had to learn this lesson.

People are great and wonderful and yes everyone has flaws but there is so much good, the flaws don't matter (depending on who it is). Love undeniably but don't expect someone to love you and prioritise your feelings more than you do for yourself. You will always be disappointed. They may genuinely care but that lack of genuine empathy will leave you screwed in the end, especially if you're relying on someone to make a change for you to suffer less. If it's not in their best interest, nothing will change. Not truly anyway.

That's my opinion. Bleak yes but take it from me, I genuinely tried.

As a person, I'm content in character, I understand myself and who I am, where I'm going and the rest so I'm good but the truth is no one really cares. People are lovely and have genuinely good intentions but, if and when those intentions impose on their happiness or affect their feng shui, the care eventually runs short. Don't depend on others to give you happiness .

Photo credit: Jade Pyne

2 thoughts on “Empathy

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